Male
  1. Single women complain that all good men are married,
    While all married women complain about their lousy husbands.
    This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.


  2. Ever notice how many of women's problems can be traced to the
    3. male gender?
    MENstruation
    MENopause
    MENtal breakdown
    GUYnecology
    HIMmorrhoids

  3. What is the difference between government bonds and men?
    4. Bonds mature.

  4. What is the difference between a man and E.T?
    5. E.T. phoned home

  5. How are men like noodles?
    6. They are always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need
    dough.

  6. Storming into his lawyer's office, a Texas oil magnate demanded
    7. that divorce proceedings begin at once against his young bride.
    "What's the problem?" "I want to hit that adulterant' woman
    for breach of contract," snapped the oilman.
    "I don't know if that will fly." said the lawyer.
    "I mean your wife isn't a piece of property; you don't own her!"
    "Darn right," the tycoon rejoined,
    "but I sure as heck expect exclusive drilling' rights!"

    TAKE ME TO THE TOP


  7. Did you hear about the transvestite at the Christmas party?
    8. He wanted to eat, drink, and be Mary.

  8. Why do men like BMW's?
    9. They can spell it

  9. What does an anniversary and a toilet have in common?
    10. Men always miss them.

  10. Why are men like popcorn?
    11. They satisfy you, but you're not quite sure why.

  11. Why are men and spray paint alike?
    12. One squeeze and they're all over you.

  12. Why are men like blenders?
    13. You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

  13. Why is food better than men?
    14. Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds.

  14. Why do so many women fake orgasm?
    15. Because so many men fake foreplay.

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  15. Why do men like frozen microwave dinners so much?
    16. They like being able to both eat and make love in less than 5
    minutes.

  16. Why would women be better off if men treated them like cars?
    17. At least then they would get a little attention every 6 months or

  17. What do you call a man who expects to have sex on the
    second date?
    18. Slow

  18. What is the difference between men and pigs?
    19. Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

  19. What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
    20. Through his chest with a sharp knife.

    TAKE ME TO THE TOP


  20. Why are men and parking spaces alike?
    21. Because all the good ones are gone and the only ones left are
    disabled.

  21. Why are men like public toilets?
    22. They're always vacant, engaged or full of shit.

  22. What have men and floor tiles got in common?
    23. If you lay them properly the first time, you can walk all over
    themfor life.

  23. How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?
    24. Who knows, it's never happened

  24. How do men sort their laundry?
    25. "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable"

  25. Why did God create men?

    26. Vibrators can't mow the lawn
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